Thursday, November 24, 2011

Gratitude For Dummies

If you've looked through my past posts, you might realize something: I barely have any of my own pictures up. Instead, I amuse and intrigue you with other- hopefully delightful- snapshots. Maybe because I just don't the moments well and maybe because my camera sucks. But I will be posting a few pictures soon, I promise you this.

This year, Thanksgiving was a bit different.

First, I spent the last week with my grandparents. Wednesday to tomorrow, Friday morning. Pretty intense, especially if you know them. My grandma has Alzheimer's which isn't as amusing as it used to be. I'll have the same conversation with her five times all over, plus she likes to tease a little harshly. My grandpa tries to take it and is a good man, but there's not much he does about any of it except to get patient after a few times.

So it was just the three of us. Last night, my grandma woke up in the middle of the night and spent a long time in the bathroom, tossing up the sweets she'd had that day [too many]. So we weren't sure if we'd make it to Chuck-A-Rama.

Morning came and surprise, she was doing better [lots of prayers will do the trick]. So we left about 9:30, got there 9:45 and they usually don't open until 11 AM. But they told my grandpa, waiting in line, they'd open at 10:30 A line was starting to form but hey, we were the first ones in line!

We were leaving by 11:30. I enjoyed two hot chocolates, three different dishes of turkey alongside chicken, a roll, corn, and more. I barely even managed any dessert at the end, I was full.
Then we tried to stop at Barnes & Noble but of course they were closed. I spent maybe an hour back at the house talking to my family- sort of really missed out on the family Thanksgiving at my uncle's. Our family gatherings get so much more interesting the older you get, after all.

Movie time commensed, and that's how we spent the rest of the day. My grandparents headed to bed about 6PM and I've been in my little hut since, trying to find things to do on the computer after packing up to go back in the morning.

Thanksgiving just felt... very... unconventional? I don't know, I can't think of the right words, if there are even any of those...It didn't feel like any different day, I suppose. Which was disappointing- if there is any reason to celebrate, I want to celebrate!

Back to working on my story, I suppose. Making another bucket list as well ;)


i am thankful

for my health, because it’s good 90% of the time so i can have fun, and enjoy nature

for my friends; because the ones who leave me have still taught me something and for the few who stick around because it reminds me i am worth something

for my schooling because i have paid for it all by myself, literally and emotionally

for the music and bands in my life because they remind me every time when i feel alone, someone will always be there

for my Heavenly Father because of all He has given me and all that He teaches me whether i like it or not

for my talents because without them, i would be twice and lost and they give me hope

[for my pet dog because he fits in my family perfectly and his soul is beautiful and hilarious]

for my family, because i know they will never leave me no matter how much they sometimes may want to; because we can hate each other and be laughing again ten minutes later; because we are one crazy puzzle that fits together perfectly with our faults, weaknesses, strengths, and love

Monday, November 21, 2011

Writing Is Righting

Song:"Fix It" by Ryan Adams and the Cardinals

Feeling: Slightly tipsy, almost amused, and downright depressed

I know. That's what I get for drinking ginger ale four days in a row. I'm such a sinner. But I've never been one to turn down drinks so what can I do?
But seriously. I do attribute my recent moods to the food around me. I eat eggo waffles or cereal for breakfast and three hours later I'm at Chuck-A-Rama or Subway, and then I have a milkshake, a banana, and maybe chips later. I could blame my grandparents, seeing as they're the ones paying for everything, but maybe I shouldn't.

The reason I'm almost amused is because I'm right at work writing my novel! I've written almost a thousand words in the last hour which is actually incredibly sad. I'm usually a lot farther along. This is difficult.
Here's a short piece I just wrote:

“How are you feeling? Did you get some rest? You didn’t… stay out long,” she adds softly. “Hungry?”
People ask so many questions like they deserve every answer but that’s never made sense to me. Of course, who is to decide who deserves what? I glance at the ceiling but there’s not an answer to be heard nor found. Trying to quell my disappointment, I glance around and wrap my arms against my own skin in a tight hug of protection. “N-not.”

Sometimes when I write, I really enjoy it. I even laugh now and then. For now and then, a word or two is poetic and other times it just turns out really funny. To me, anyways. I wouldn't know what others would see because no one has seen all of what I have so far, to be honest. A piece here and there for a few, but um... yeah. It hasn't been shown.

Now for the depressing bit.

My favorite band is The Maine. Their new album [I already preordered, obviously] comes out in FIFTEEN DAYS. 12/6/11 cannot come soon enough, that's what.
Anyways, the new album is titled "Pioneer"
And for it, they just started a TOUR going the rest of the year.

Short, I know. But so perfect. They're playing from every album, including every song from the new album. I've seen the track listing but they're trying not to share all the songs just yet. These wonderful amazing guys have gone out of their way to do all that they can- they've helped pay for fans to drive there, for tickets, and for rides home just alone- and for "Pioneer", they self-produced and paied for everything. Are these boys rich? No, not really. But they wanted to do that for themselves, and for their fans.

Tomorrow night, they'll be playing close to my home. As in California. As in, where I am currently way too far away. I still don't think you can understand my frustration.
Which is why tomorrow I will most likely go crazy and during that lonely time where people are watching them, I'll be on here, telling everything you should know about these wonderful, adorable, and talented boys.

So... yeah. It's going to be pretty sad tomorrow. Especially because my grandparents are tired about and always in bed by 6 PM.


Sunday, November 20, 2011

Long Time, No Chat

It's been a few weeks. Okay, probably a month, at the least. If not more. But what can I say? Lift just got in the way.

As did Bones as the show started up again. In addition, I try to stay updated on: Psych, Criminal Minds, Modern Family, and I've also recently begun The Mentalist and Community.

Oh and I can't stop watching pieces of this beautiful show on youtube.

So, obviously, I'm pretty preoccupied.

Okay, okay. But I do have some legit reasoning. Working a few odd jobs in Cedar, sorting out my future- every few weeks I get a new email about my future work at Disney World in Orlando, FL where I will be next January. Then I had a ridiculous three page paper to write.

And Nano!
Which is what we insiders call it. To the rest of you, it's National Novel Writing Month. There's more to November than Thanksgiving, Christmas music, and No-Shave-November. This project is for writers all around the world who choose to start a novel and write 50k [that's five thousand] words within those 30 days.

My only problem is that as incredible as my story will be- outlined with 22k so far- I just keep getting immensely distracted with... well, more stories. I had started one earlier this year which I finished just today- 72k! Plus just last week I started something else and I've already written about 15k and I really don't want to quit on that because it's just so much fun, you know?

But I'm going to still and do what I can. The story I'm doing for this is one I've been working on for about three years and it means a lot to me. I've put in so many hours of work for it and it's just special.

Among other things, I'm trying to relearn patience around those closest to me. I've gotten better at expressing myself instead of hiding things away like I have done most of my life [I didn't think people would really care or want to listen]; but as I've grown more blunt, I've lost patience and some empathy which I've always understood completely.
It's a tough life, really.

Anyways, I'm eating out every day and watching at least two-three movies a day as well doing hardly anything but sitting on my bum constantly here at my grandparents for Thanksgiving. They've splurged so much on me, i love it but it almost makes me sick.

Sort of excited to go home. My... excitement has been draining lately. All day, really. Or yesterday? No, today. But hey, I need to learn patience, right?

Hopefully I'll pick this up and pretend people don't even know what's going on in my life right now or something like that.
Fare thee well!