Falling

AUTUMN.

I could slap myself for forgetting. I've been so obsessed with trying to find a job and take care of things I forgot about the evident change in weather! How could I be so silly? After all, it's my favorite time of the year!

And it's not just because of the food. Honestly. Mostly.

I mean, it involves things like this:

Big sweaters! Thicker tights. BOOTS. Hats and scarves! I guess school is always a pretty good thing- I may actually begin understanding Physics, thanks to my pestering for help from friends. Warm clothing, school, crunchy leaves, the introduction of hot cider and hot cocoa. And, as checking my sister's blog, TV SHOWS

I just had to post his face, okay? I mean, just look at him. I'd take Matthew Gray Gubler any day. Raised LDS, curly dark hair, real glasses, beautiful man, so creative, productive, and only about ten years older! Perfect, right? I know, that's just what I need to tell him.
Criminal Minds is a wonderful show that's started back up again. I need to catch up about two seasons, but still. I'm totally thrilled, I swear. So besides Criminal Minds, Bones will start up in November I believe, then Pretty Little Liars plus Modern Family should also be about to begin. Then one of my favorite band's will be releasing a new album!

I'd like to consider myself well rounded in my tastes, by the way. Anyways, since I've wisely spent my time so far today [eight minute shower, two hours of study, made rice for myself and a friend, planned an evening hike with Katie and ran by the post office], I'm going to spend the rest of my day reading "Dating For Dummiess" and no, I'm not joking. It's a very good laugh, honestly. Plus, I should probably change- bright purple tights, jean shorts and a purple plaid shirt may be a little extreme for FHE, what do you think? Katie says "it hits the fence" or something along those lines.
But hey. It's fall. All tights are in, right??

I'd like to leave you with Garrett Nickelsen, the other boy I plan on marrying.

PS.
I know silver isn't proper for autumn- or me, either.
HOWEVER. if somebody bought me this from Hot Topic for like $15 for Christmas
I swear to love you forever.
Honestly.

HAPPY AUTUMN. Don't go falling for anyone except for those who truly leave you a better person every time.

Survival

Bro. Humiston with his kids Andrew, Nathan, and Natalie, Bro. Wells and his kids Brittany and Ryan accompanied by a kid, Brandon, and my younger sister, Jordyn, all headed up to Zion this past week for some hiking in Zion National Park.

Yesterday, we were invited to join them at Angel's Landing. Though somewhat sick, Katie, Jenee and I all decided to go. We headed up- got in free!!- and spent about half an hour waiting for the group to return from their morning hike.

After lunch, we headed up! The very beginning isn't that bad and it's the easiest part. The moment it got steep, I went to the very back and stayed there the rest of the trip. Bro. Wells didn't want to leave anyone behind and his kids wanted to do the trek with them, so they lagged far behind as well.

It was embarrassing and if I had the energy, I would have used it to laugh at myself. I hadn't thought I was so out of shape, or maybe it's my heart, or maybe the eleveation or maybe it was all of that together. But I was so close to giving up, especially because we never knew how close we were or not.

It took us two hours- which isn't that bad because the usual is three apparently- to get to the top and then walk across the very end of the spine to find our group all lying about. They had to have been there for quite a while, that's all I know. At the top without the chains, Bro. Wells grabbed my arm [plus a few times before] to keep me from falling which was, to be honest, somewhat embarrassing. But I accepted his help [humility, oui?], and managed to make it to the top.

-I should mention that Andrew ended up taking my backpack to be a gentleman, I think his father had convinced him, and it was actually very light compared to everyone else's bags [Andrew hadn't had one before], except he also took my water bottles with him and so I helped drain Bro. Wells' water- but I gave him one of my waters at the top which he drained.-

The way back down wasn't as hard, but it still took over an hour. It was so steep, I felt something in my back and then in my ribs being pinched. We took our time on this as well, in the back, and enjoyed the scene and what we had hiked up before. Bro. Wells and I were very much the slowpokes and eventually found everyone in the freezing cold river.

Not everyone, but mostly. I got my ankles in but that was it because I wasn't hot or sweaty so much coming down or anything. A few jumped up, and we chatted a little before heading out.

A few people got changed and we had a mix up with the rides with Katie and Andrew heading off, but I enjoyed being around those familiar people again as they waved at strangers driving by.

We joined one another for dinner and I had a booth with Jordyn, which was quite fun because we got to chat and seeing as we've sort of been busy this summer with our own activities, and we don't talk on the phone or anything else, it was just nice.

Altogether, I thought the day, though near to my death, went well and was well spent although I had missed several things in order to do this. I realized, however, I hadn't spent so much time looking around on top as relaxing- I was more centered on myself than where I was.

I think I regret that. But at the same time, I'm not sure how much I would have gotten by staring out before me. I know that may sound vain, stupid, or ridiculous, but the magnanimous thoughts people seem to get about things while up in the mountains, sometimes I just don't understand. And personally, it is a lot of rock. It doesn't even sparkle. It's Utah, after all.

Which really makes me sound mean. But can I honestly apologize for what I think? It would contradict myself. Maybe someday I'll see more, though, we shall see. I do know however, there is something great out there, especially at that height in that space and everything- something surreal and bigger than us all.

I will end with my packing list you should always use for a hike:
-Water:
=If you don't have a camelback or anything, bring at least two waterbottles
-Sunscreen
-Snacks
=Energy fueled snacks, like jerky or granola bars. A piece of fruit for the top
-Hat
-Sunglasses
-Wetwipes [something to clean hands]
-And of course, a camera.

Tied Together [In A Pretty Bow]

Soul mates. Touchy subject, much?

Anyways, I thought that maybe my blog should be a little more than useless updates about my daily life [hello, facebook], and share thoughts and things as well.

This is something I think about more as I get older, obviously.

As everyone knows, I adore writing along with reading. 'Jane Eyre' has never been one of my favorite novels, I should inform you, because it was so unromantic. Strange characters with severe faults in even the good ones who were so bland. Just not my type. My type is 'The Tale Of Two Cities' where Sydney sacrifices his life for the woman he loves, whom he can never have because she's married with a child [or more?] to a man who looks like his twin, so that her family can be together.

So is there someone out there, specifically meant for each of us?

Answer: Not exactly.

When I finally came to that answer, it sort of hurt. I always believed myself to be a hopeless romantic [turned hopeFUL romantic by This Century band], and for love to feel so impersonal doesn't seem so right.

The reason I don't say no straight off the cuff, is because of two things- one, I am LDS and I believe in patriarchal blessings, and I do believe that some of them will tell certain people much about the person they will spend eternity with.

Number two gets a little more complicated. It feels slightly detrimental, I suppose [am I even using that word right? probably not]. Contradictory, who knows....
Okay, well let's just start with the opposing view and I can transition if I do this right:

I have met some really, really weird guys in my short span of life. Guys that seem to like me. When I get the chance to leave their company, I try to imagine a future life that includes them [I actually do this with quite a few people, trying to decide how long I will know them before they leave], and I know that if I worked very, very hard to become humble and to be more kind, I could share a life, a marriage with them.
But then I pull back, and I know that while it is possible, it will not happen. To change that much would be to entirely change who I am, who I have created, and perhaps even who I am meant to be. I would have to entirely evolve to survive with that person. So as I consider that, I realize I can't do it.

Now, I think I've put us all in a tizzy. I think that was my two points then?

Positive, however: as I've just shown, I can't get myself to marry just anyone. There are some personalities that simply are not compatible with mine. If you are extremely messy or constantly whine then I cannot long endure your presence, for example. [Although I realize I just described a kid but be reasonable, with your children you love them then you deal with them]
Some personalities simply click, just like some don't. I believe that the idea we are all puzzle pieces could be a good example- but instead of just one fit, we have a few. I've met some great guys who, I think, I would enjoy being around for a long time, maybe forever.

People can be picky. They think there are "soul mates" and maybe, for some, they are destined to find a particular person. In fact, I've actually had a few friends tell me- or tell people I know that told me- who have said I don't need to look, I will know him when I see him. And who knows? Maybe they are right, maybe they aren't.

I really, really don't think boys do this, but I know plenty of girls do- they make lists of the sort of man they want to marry. I remember many sacrament meetings in church, making those lists. They began very absurd, I recall.
My list often included:
Dark hair, green eyes, six feet tall, tan, good skin, thick hair, strong teeth,
Likes walks on the beach, very physically fit,
Likes books especially classics, listens to rock and roll, loves movies but not horror, not a big sports fan, RM, good job that pays well but lets him stay home

Ridiculous much?
It has, thankfully, changed through time. While I am still attracted to darker, curly hair, not everything is absolutely necessary. My list is narrowed down to 2:
-He needs to be a returned missionary thus strong in the gospel
-My best friend

Living in a house with four other girls can be tough, all of them wanting boyfriends and the like. But me? I've used logic to back out, maybe even trick myself out of this. After all, I'm nineteen and I want a returned missionary which means he needs to be at least 21, and I don't think I'm ready for that age difference just yet so I have about 3ish years to study, work, and become a good enough person for him, whoever he is and wherever he is.

So why worry now?

Call It off

Feeling: 'Big Jet Plane'

The Maine Cover Songs

Emily, I'm finding the recipe for you now, hon, don't you worry!

As for the link, if it loaded correctly- my favorite band covering a song by Angus And Julia Stone, plus Nirvana. I'm listening to it now. My headings will probably introduce a new song to you and kudos to you if you know it!

I'm still sick. And it's seriously irritating me. It's been nearly a week, and I have this absurd cough that's just killing me. This gives me a headache and I can barely sleep. It frustrates me, being unable to control this. They don't usually last this long, either. I just hope it ends very, very soon- and that I haven't gotten anyone else sick!!

There's also a flying ant infestation in Jenee and my bathroom. We bought bug spray and will see if that will work. Let me know if you know of soemthing that works. They're coming out of the shower drain, it looks, plus a hole beside the toilet plumbing. And apparently it's happened before -.- But we're guessing there may be a nest or something beneath in next to the plumbing. I already knew this house was totally crappy, I'd come by before. It's old, cracks everywhere, etc. The things you do for friends...

EMILY THE RECIPE YOU MADWOMAN: http://blogs.babble.com/family-kitchen/2011/03/15/nutella-mug-cake/

Enjoy. Please tell me how it works out!

Apparently Andrew Humiston and his family, plus my sister, and a few others are coming up past to Zion to hike Angel's Landing. Katie's been invited along with a few people and that's how I heard so it seems like I wasn't necessarily invited which is totally offensive. Not that I blame anyone. I'm slow and a scaredy-cat and I know how to complain and be grumpy. But still, honestly? Ouch, man. Ouch.

Anyways, trying to work on my future best seller! Will eventually get to it. I swear I must be insane, because the thing is, I can prepare for anything but the hassle is actually accomplishing that. So I have notes for symbolism and places and phrases, etc. But it makes me nervous.
I've even worked on the message it's supposed to send across. Unorganized but personally important all the same:
To show we are all human- different with each of our own talents, struggles, weaknesses, strengths and victories. We don’t have the right to judge others. That there is always hope- and the possibility of change. We are all worth something.
Even when we are at our best, we will never reach our potential- it always continues to rise.
When we are at our worst, we learn who really loves us and who will always be there. FAMILY. Heart and blood. Just because you don’t understand them, doesn’t mean they don’t love you. It’s important to standby them, loyalty. Those bound by the heart are family too, in a deeper sense.
Dreams- keep them.
Humans are all different. We understand or misunderstand each other all the time, constantly. If we all understood, there would be no pain- and thus no joy.
Every moment matters.

Ta Da.

I was going to share something else, but I don't think you're really prepared for it. After all, you don't really know anything about it.
Not a lot of people know the whole, actually. In fact, only one person does.
Which, personally, is a sad thought.

I'm going out on a dangerous limb to share a serious thought, now, so don't you dare mock me for it. My parents, if you know them, are absolutely wonderful people. They take charge, except responsibility, and inspire greatness. They want the best for their children and try to teach us to be our very best. I love them and respect them for this.
It just hurts that they don't really care about reading my stories. I've sent pieces of 'haunting' poems and stories, but all they ever have time to read are the ones about America or our faith. And if they're short, really short.
So they do try, they're always telling me to do my best and they even said they would get me a writing mentor which I extremely am grateful for, because I have acknowledged that having one will be very necessary now. It just bothers me that they don't read what means the most.

Then again, none of us are important.
One of my favorite bands, Thriving Ivory, says "we are only human"

We are only human

Our Potential

Children do not like fairy tales because they tell us dragons exist. Children already know they exist. Fairy tales tell us that they can be destroyed. -G. K. Chesteron

I'm not positive how this is how it was first said, but it was said this way in Criminal Minds Season 3 Episode 5 at the very end. Which I've been watching between my studies [obviously not going so well].

They use the best quotes, even if misquoted. I absolutely love how they apply not only to the beginning or the conclusion of every episode, but how we can relate to them. This one I love the most, maybe, because I was a born dreamer.

I could say so much about this, but the quote says everything, and that's why comments like these are preserved through history. They are like photographs that carry a thousand words, but a line or two that carries a thousand thoughts and ideas.

Cartoons these days are so out of this world or ridiculous or so dramatic. It's hard to explain, because I grew up watching Bugs Bunny toss dynamite to Elmer Fudd[sp??] and both of them always survive. That, along with the classical Disney shows that kids don't watch anymore. My brothers don't even know what the Jungle Book is. They only know Spider Man from the current "graphic novels" and the newer movies. We don't have the classics where everything always turns out right and there's something of a lesson to it- or it's so absurd we already know it would be stupid to try it.

Anyways, we don't really have fairy tales anymore. We have Captain America and Superman, but no one really knows the Grimm Brothers anymore. They don't understand where The Little Mermaid really came from, and how not everyone doesn't have a happy ending. They don't know the stories of the Arabian Nights or about courage, valour, Shining Knights in Armor who rescues fair maidens who then love them and they run into the setting sun.

Is it better they don't know this? I'm not so sure. But I'll take Bugs Bunny and The Little Mermaid anyday before Phineas and Ferb or Degrassi.

Just as well, society is telling us that it's okay to be weak. Children are punished for protecting themselves in school. They are taught that there are no moral lines, and if you do not allow people to "be anything" then you are a bad human being and you don't deserve anything. They cradle people and don't ask them to pick themselves up when life gets hard, they don't tell them to look on the bright side and fight back those devils.

They're forgetting that we still have dragons, and that dragons can still be defeated. They will always be around, but it doesn't mean we have to allow them. Eventually, they will trample over us and they will win, if we don't fight back and protect ourselves. Dragons will always be here. But will you?

Spasms

Two followers. I feel special.

HAIIII FWANDS

Anyways. I promise you chocolate.

Nutella Mug Cake.
If you ever make me some, I will love you forever.
That is a promise/warning

Side Effect:

May bring tears, irony, laughter, or strange thoughts, actions, and ideas.
Read at your own peril and enjoy to your limits.

If you ever have questions for me, ridiculous or serious or genius, I will do my best to answer, no matter what you ask. I accept the challenge whole heartedly.

Geniuses and Gizmos

Tuesday Taylor got a henna kit and was willing to draw whatever we wanted on our skin. I know, it's sideways, get over it please because I don't want to change it I'm too tired.
Anyways, it's supposed to say "Lost & Found" and I know people may look at it and say it's inappropriate, it's stupid, it's silly [hi, daddy], but I am not one of those people who decorates their body [with clothing, tattoos, etc] just because society is doing it.

[Comes from a drawing by Garrett Nickelsen. If I really, really, really, absolutely like and love and crave your company, then I will have shared my.... ehm, joy, of this young man probably. Or most likely, you are trapped with my company and often hear me whining about his pretty face. Either way, he's the bass player for The Maine]

I chose this because it means a lot. Religiously, emotionally, not physically, maybe metaphysically, etc. This little ghost with that sign just symbolizes sort of my life. I feel like I'm constantly being turned around and twisted upside down by the world, by those around me. I tend to take everyone's words into consideration, especially/unfortunately when it comes to me they are talking about.
-I've spent a lot of time overwhelmed and trying to figure myself out. To find out where I am, and who I am.
Finally, I'm learning that I don't exactly have to find myself, but create myself. And whenever I get lost, who knows? Maybe I am there for a reason, and maybe I can have fun and learn from where I am and whatever I'm doing.

This was a serious post.
But it will not end serious.
To the pictures that will always make me laugh:

And:

And:

^^You better learn what that's from^^

And people think I waste my time on the computer? Psh

Do you have any idea how beautiful that is?

So much goodness-

And:

-Just realized Nessa may get offended but I assure you, it has nothing to do with you and your obsession with giraffes, I promise.

We still haven't reached my favorite oh my gosh so much goodness

^ Maybe that shouldn't amuse me as much
but
yeah

and THAT is my FAVORITE.
If you ever see me laughing to myself, I am most likely thinking of this.
I hope you laughed.
And
if you didn't.
your life
is not something I want
to have.

G'day mate

Holy Crap I'm Alive

I was going to start this upside down and inside out but realized that would take too much time and effort.
And we all know how much I just love... well, sitting around. Ish.

Anyways, I do have a more personal blog for my personal opinions, thoughts, and ideas, but that's way too private to be seen/read/found by anyone. Don't worry your little bun, you are special [after all, you are reading this], but no one should read that.

Hopefully, this one will work out. I've attempted normal blogs before and somehow they keep running away. Should I blame them?

Today: I woke up after almost six hours of sleep to a swollen throat, aching eyes, and a mean nose. Lesson learned, staying up for two days and a night is a really stupid idea especially when you don't nap and only eat ice cream during that.

The upside: I was with Tuesday Taylor at four in the morning the other day at Wal-Mart and they had a sweet collection of Star Wars shirts for 7.50. It took all my power not to buy them all [who wouldn't want to wear Chewbacca, really??], but I settled with that one.

So this post was really boring. I know.
Last thing: I want to make something like this for our house since Tuesday is leaving us all for Vegas and taking most of the house decorations with her:
http://www.everydaymomideas.com/2011/03/scrap-paper-tree-centerpiece-tutorial.html

Check it out. Now.
Please.
Buy me glue while you're at it?