Thursday, September 22, 2011
Tied Together [In A Pretty Bow]
Soul mates. Touchy subject, much?
Anyways, I thought that maybe my blog should be a little more than useless updates about my daily life [hello, facebook], and share thoughts and things as well.
This is something I think about more as I get older, obviously.
As everyone knows, I adore writing along with reading. 'Jane Eyre' has never been one of my favorite novels, I should inform you, because it was so unromantic. Strange characters with severe faults in even the good ones who were so bland. Just not my type. My type is 'The Tale Of Two Cities' where Sydney sacrifices his life for the woman he loves, whom he can never have because she's married with a child [or more?] to a man who looks like his twin, so that her family can be together.
So is there someone out there, specifically meant for each of us?
Answer: Not exactly.
When I finally came to that answer, it sort of hurt. I always believed myself to be a hopeless romantic [turned hopeFUL romantic by This Century band], and for love to feel so impersonal doesn't seem so right.
The reason I don't say no straight off the cuff, is because of two things- one, I am LDS and I believe in patriarchal blessings, and I do believe that some of them will tell certain people much about the person they will spend eternity with.
Number two gets a little more complicated. It feels slightly detrimental, I suppose [am I even using that word right? probably not]. Contradictory, who knows....
Okay, well let's just start with the opposing view and I can transition if I do this right:
I have met some really, really weird guys in my short span of life. Guys that seem to like me. When I get the chance to leave their company, I try to imagine a future life that includes them [I actually do this with quite a few people, trying to decide how long I will know them before they leave], and I know that if I worked very, very hard to become humble and to be more kind, I could share a life, a marriage with them.
But then I pull back, and I know that while it is possible, it will not happen. To change that much would be to entirely change who I am, who I have created, and perhaps even who I am meant to be. I would have to entirely evolve to survive with that person. So as I consider that, I realize I can't do it.
Now, I think I've put us all in a tizzy. I think that was my two points then?
Positive, however: as I've just shown, I can't get myself to marry just anyone. There are some personalities that simply are not compatible with mine. If you are extremely messy or constantly whine then I cannot long endure your presence, for example. [Although I realize I just described a kid but be reasonable, with your children you love them then you deal with them]
Some personalities simply click, just like some don't. I believe that the idea we are all puzzle pieces could be a good example- but instead of just one fit, we have a few. I've met some great guys who, I think, I would enjoy being around for a long time, maybe forever.
People can be picky. They think there are "soul mates" and maybe, for some, they are destined to find a particular person. In fact, I've actually had a few friends tell me- or tell people I know that told me- who have said I don't need to look, I will know him when I see him. And who knows? Maybe they are right, maybe they aren't.
I really, really don't think boys do this, but I know plenty of girls do- they make lists of the sort of man they want to marry. I remember many sacrament meetings in church, making those lists. They began very absurd, I recall.
My list often included:
Dark hair, green eyes, six feet tall, tan, good skin, thick hair, strong teeth,
Likes walks on the beach, very physically fit,
Likes books especially classics, listens to rock and roll, loves movies but not horror, not a big sports fan, RM, good job that pays well but lets him stay home
It has, thankfully, changed through time. While I am still attracted to darker, curly hair, not everything is absolutely necessary. My list is narrowed down to 2:
-He needs to be a returned missionary thus strong in the gospel
-My best friend
Living in a house with four other girls can be tough, all of them wanting boyfriends and the like. But me? I've used logic to back out, maybe even trick myself out of this. After all, I'm nineteen and I want a returned missionary which means he needs to be at least 21, and I don't think I'm ready for that age difference just yet so I have about 3ish years to study, work, and become a good enough person for him, whoever he is and wherever he is.
So why worry now?